This might hit differently depending on where you are in your artistic journey. For me, the last few months have been a period of intense introspection. I was laid off from my corporate job, my freelance work dried up, and my artistic creations weren't receiving the reception I'd hoped for. All these events combined took a toll on my self-image. I found myself dealing with what I call "diet depression"—like regular depression, but with fewer calories.
During this time, I retreated into entertainment—games, TV, social media. I created a buffer between me and my emotional state. This escape, however, only exacerbated the situation as I wasn't confronting the real issues. That's when I discovered "Art & Fear" by David Bayles and Ted Orland.
This isn’t a long book by any means, its a little over 120+ pages. Written as a dialogue on artists, for artists, about artists. It explores the shadowy corners of our creative psyche, addressing the very feelings I had been avoiding. It offered solutions, examples, and insights, but most importantly, it provided me with a moment for reflection.
Through this introspection, I realized how much I relied on others' approval of my work to boost my ego. When my social circle or family didn't respond to my creations as I'd hoped, it dealt a blow to my self-confidence. I had been equating my art with my personal worth, as if my creations were a direct reflection of who I am. If the work turned out bad or didn’t garner the excitement when I shared it, I too were bad or didn’t deserve gratitude or appreciation. I never fully grasped how intertwined these two aspects had become in my mind. That day, I learned that my art and my identity are separate entities. This revelation became the inspiration for this piece of art.
This was a tough lesson for me learn. I won’t sit here and write that I am 100% free of such thoughts. I’m still disconnecting the ties that bind but I’m further along than i was before. Its easier now to remember “I make art I am not my art.” Whether it turns out good or bad, my character and integrity maintain.
